All the Wheatleys
by CheezyPortalFan
Summary: Let's count the Wheatleys, shall we? 1, 2, skip a few, twenty thousand. One-shot.


Wheatley had a LOT of time to kill.

Being in space is boring. Very, very boring. So logically, Wheatley was very, very bored.

Because of said boredom Wheatley started poking around in his Peripheral Directory (Which the Scientists told him to NEVER EVER touch because he would DIE) Needless to say, he found something interesting and had an official, patented, Wheatley Brand Brilliant Idea.

Do you want to know what it was? Well too bad, I'm telling you anyway.

He found Module #73, a long dormant component in his chassis, the 'Aperture Science Multidimensional Stabilized Unstable Quantum Singularity Creating Reality Ripping Beacon With LED Lights', And his Wheatley Brand Brilliant Idea was to turn it on.

Needless to say, it was a HORRIBLE idea. Because as soon as he turned it on, Wheatleys started appearing out of nowhere right next to him.

Unbeknownst to him, Module #73 had created a Multidimensional Stabilized Unstable Quantum Rift two feet away from him on his left. What did this rift do? It sucked other Wheatleys from other universes floating in space through it, and deposited them right next to him.

Needless to say, it didn't go so well.

After about ten minutes, there were over nine hundred different variations of Wheatley floating through space towards earth. And each one of them feeling guilty and ashamed for betraying their respective versions of Chell. Except for one.

This was not a good thing.

After about six hours of bickering over who is Wheatley and who isn't, there were over ten thousand Wheatleys all huddled together, creating enough gravity to accelerate their speed towards Earth.

This was not a good thing either.

After about eight hours of bickering over who would apologize to Chell first, they were starting to enter the Earth's Exosphere.

This was also not good thing.

After about twelve hours of bickering over exactly how hot it was, they were in the Earth's Mesosphere. There were also close to twenty thousand Wheatleys.

At this point, Module #73 had deactivate so as to not taint the Earth's Atmosphere with methane.

None of these things were good things.

After fourteen hours of screaming that they were being incinerated, all of the Wheatleys crashed into an eight square mile wheat field in Upper Michigan. Why? Because of Protocol #18723/BHB23AI, which states 'If one or more Personality Cores(s) crash through the atmosphere then activate the Main Facility Device Recovery Personal Gravity Distortion Crash Net For Atmospheric Reentry Generator Device.'

This was an extremely BAD thing for all of the Wheatleys.

About three hundred Wheatleys crashed into the Main Central AI Chamber. And GLaDOS was not a happy supercomputer.

And that was the worst thing.

After looking over all eighteen thousand Wheatleys she had captured, (two thousand had escaped before she could stop them) she decided that she had more than enough Test Subjects than she would ever need, and sorted them by size and shape.

Only one Wheatley was human.

That Wheatley had been part of Aperture's Scientists In Space program, and was thus wearing Aperture Science Artificial Atmosphere Creating Pocket Dimensional Quantum Clothing. Which is the reason he was not incinerated when entering the Earth's Atmosphere.

He was the first on GLaDOS's Test Subject List.

After trying to bargain with her, begging her, and politely asking why she seemed to despise him so much, he was thrown into Test Track 12. With the easiest tests possible at first, then the most deadly tests to have ever been created at Aperture.

And somehow, he survived all of them.

With three bullet wounds, seven burns, and a permanent fear of the 'Would you be so kind as to not drop me into that pit?' funnel, he was put into Cryogenic Storage,

As for the other ones, most of them died. Only about six hundred of the nine thousand testable Wheatleys survived.

What happened to the other Wheatleys?

They were all tortured for information as to which universe they came from to single out THE Wheatley that had turned her into a potato. In the end she had found two Wheatleys that had done the EXACT same things.

Except that one of them turned her into a lemon. (Unbeknownst to him, that GLaDOS had exploded after she let Chell go)

Then, she enacted her Ultimate Revenge Plan on THE Wheatley. Which entailed:  
>Year one, the Aperture Science 2000 Degree Kelvin Incinerator<br>Year two, the Cryogenic Refrigeration Wing  
>The decade after those two years, the Room Where All of The Robots Scream At You<br>Then she killed him. Violently. With a mashy-spike-plate.

All as a potato.

* * *

><p><strong>A.N.**

**Hello anonymous reader!**

**Any and all valid criticism is greatly appreciated!**

**DISCLAIMER: I do not own Wheatley, or GLaDOS, or Chell, or Aperture Science, or Portal. They are Property of Valve.**

**In a lot of Fanfictions I have read, Wheatley is stuck in lunar orbit. I do not think this is true though, because of the speed at which he was flung through the portal. By the time he slowed down by impacting enough space dust or debris, he would be FAR out of lunar orbit and the Earth's gravity would pull him into a slow orbit where he wold revolve around the earth until his speed got low enough for him to crash. *deep breath* And if there were a lot of Wheatleys squished together in a tight space they would be affected by gravity more and slowly speed up. If my beginner's understanding of gravity and physics is wrong, please correct me.**

**Thanks for reading!**


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